Relationship Advice: The Elephant in the room

Hi there and welcome to another post in the relationship advice series, apologies I have not drafted one in almost 6months now let us just say life got in the way. I love giving relationship advice but I also know that I do not know everything, I have not experienced everything and that everyone's situation is not the same. How I react to a certain situation is probably not the same way you're going to respond. Please know my advice should not replace that of trained professionals for I can only give you advice from my point of view or from my personal experience.

Today's post is trying to cover the metaphorical elephant in the room and this can be anything for anyone. For me it could be, how much of the advice I give do I follow myself? For you it could be, when am I going to stop thinking of the worst thing happening in my relationship or when can I let go of the past and trust the future? All of these questions could come from one person or many people. To answer my own question, I follow almost a 100% of my own advice and I say almost a 100% perfect because I am human who is largely controlled by my emotions. So those times when I should have taken a deep breath and thought everything through I didn't I flew off the handle and caused a rift in my relationship. But I recognised this and started working on it. I always say the first step to solving a problem in a relationship is to accept that you both view things differently and therefore should work to see it from their point of view and evaluate how much your relationship is worth. I also advise that in every relationship both parties have to want to pull their weight and contribute to the relationship 50/50 otherwise one day the one doing most of the work will start to view it as a burden and that's where most ends start.

There are those of us who have been in bad relationships before in the past, but one thing we have to remember is that is the past and give the future relationship the benefit of the doubt. When what you think are signs of the old relationship start to come into the new first think about why and if you contributed to it. Discuss with your partner your concerns and not just think the past will repeat itself. If you see no change and your partner is not willing to change them maybe it's time to move on. I always say make sure you have given it your all and tried your very best before walking away because walking away with regrets is the worse kind of torture.

I am not saying I am perfect or that I have a perfect relationship but that I am willing to work for it as much as the other person. If the willingness is not their at first don't give up just yet, try carrying the load for both of you and if your partner wakes up to it and starts to help you're on the road to recovery but your partner doesn't then it's time to think about you selfishly. Loving yourself first is very important because then you can love others even more and give them your very best.

How to save money this Valentines day

As with most holidays they have become so commercialised that we seem to be forgetting the true meaning of the holiday. I love Valentines day like the next person but I do not want to waste money on something that I will probably not use or will forget about after a few good shots of something (not advocating drinking at all this is just me). I am not averse to receiving gifts on these holidays but I think the most memorable gifts are usually those that were given a thorough thinking and most times are free. Today I wanted to share a few ways you could have a romantic Valentines without breaking the bank.

1. A couple that cooks together

I love the idea of staying at home, spending time together and making a meal together. You don't have to buy anything you just use what you already have at home and make a meal or buy a few supplies and cook together, this is very romantic and very memorable. She will love it as much as he will love it because you are spending time together and creating something together.

2. A couple that walks together

Again it doesn't cost anything to go for a walk either in your neighbourhood or a short drive from your place or the nearest park. Take some time to explore together and just be together in oneness without distraction, make sure its technology free walk too (I am not talking about activity trackers I mean mobiles).

3. A Couple that watches together

With so many outlets to choose from you no longer have to go to the video store and rent a movie but if that's what you fancy do so otherwise check the telly guide and see what's on that you could watch together. In the name of love watch a movie that your partner likes and take turns.

4. Personalised Gifts

Ever since I was gifted my first ever personalised mug and calendar I have been over the moon. I love the thought that went into making those gifts. I have had CD's burned with favourite pictures on them which has been such a wonderful gift that I cherish even today. You can make your partner a calendar, a card, a CD the list is endless even taking their jewellery and personalised it.

These are some of the ways you can ensure you save money for these over commercialised celebrations. Like I said I am not averse to going out and having a romantic meal but I prefer to do the above instead. 

How are you spending your Valentines?

Relationship Advice - Part 3: The Cheating cul-de-sac

Welcome to my relationship advice series, today I thought I cover cheating yes you heard right cheating. Over the weekend I was reading the weekly Best magazine when I came across several posts on cheating and the cheating mostly done by men. The one that caught my attention was where 4 women friends who lived in same cul-de-sac all experienced being cheated on by their spouses. And 3 out of 4 of these women were left and divorced by their spouses, this was just too surreal for me. I felt so sorry for these women and I just thought right we need to discuss this issue which is no stranger to us all.

This was a magazine caption on these ladies not me, please do not misquote me.

Personal view & Experience:

I used to believe and mostly still do believe that when a partner cheats it's because something has changed in a relationship. I always hear men are visual creatures but so are women but you don't see us jumping and pouncing upon every cute man that passes our way. I will confess that I came to a point where I wanted to cheat but obviously good sense got in before I could take cheating on its offer. I went through a patch where I felt I was not wanted in my relationship, I felt like I wasn't sexy enough and granted I have changed over the years a I have put a stone on since we started dating 6 years ago. This emotions were so strong that when a guy who was not my man who was not bad looking and who was giving me the attention I thought I didn't have I was more than flattered I was given another boost in confidence so much that I was tempted to pursue this and see where it could go but like I said good sense won. So you see though you can be vulnerable this can be overcome by pure determination and belief in yourself and what you got. 

Relationship experts:

"Men are visual creatures, if you let yourself go or stop doing something in a relationship you used to do in the beginning you risk your man cheating on you because you sold him a false dream"

"I cheated on my partner because i was not given the same attention I gave to my partner, I was more alone in a relationship than a single person"

"Let's not just blame the cheater, think about why the cheater cheated on you! What changed?"

These are some of the relationship expert opinions have heard over the years from my own personal experience and from seeing my friends who have had partners cheat on them I believe sometimes it's 50/50. I believe in this day and age if you sell a certain dream to your prospective partner and then couple years down the road it disappears you risk partners cheating, don't get me wrong I am not saying cheating is acceptable because it's not but you have to remember it takes 2 to tangle. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what didn't we do for the relationship? If it turns out the cheater was just a douche bag then you good, move on and have a drink on me because people! You deserve better. But if this is a two way street then you need to sit down and analyse this. Your family and friends will tell you his/she not worth it and they maybe right but ultimately the decision is yours plus remember when have said their peace and gone to sleep, you're alone with your thoughts and you cry alone or hurt alone. I believe in all situations do what's right for you and not the world. Always wanting to follow the world at what should be what will not bring you happiness, you following you will bring you happiness. Do not be a people pleaser in these situations be the selfish person you can be to be happy.

What do you my lovely's think? Should you forgive a cheater or should you just kick them to the kerb?

Week 55: Personal Confessions ~ It's never too late just start

It's the 12th month, the year has come to an end. It's time to sit down and reflect on your relationships for the past 12 months, how do you think you have done? Could you have done something different? Do you have any regrets? Are there things that you wish you had done and/or said to someone? What words would you take back if given the chance? What occurrences would you do differently if given the chance? 

I am sure you are reading this and somethings are coming to mind, you do not have to reveal them to anyone these are for you. I have always said in my many Relationship Advice posts that it's always important to look after number ONE and that is always, I am sure many mother's who are up to their elbows in baby this and that would just want to stab me for saying this especially since I am not a mother and don't know what I am talking about but I will tell you from what I have seen and experienced from my own mother. 

My mother always made time for her self be it at night when her children and husband plus the 7 other people we looked after had gone to sleep. My mother is one woman who functions best after a good 3-hour sleep - I have inherited this and don't like it but helps with my blogging and my 9-5 job. I will not claim it was easy or always possible but she always made sure she had at least 1 hour twice a week to herself and in doing so she was a wonderful mother that she is. You need to take care of you first before anyone else and I am not saying physically always but mentally and emotionally too, you just need some time to switch off your brain and think me me me and then back to your daily life. A more relaxed and happy you is a more and happy household, I once heard on the bus going home two older men discussing something when one said 'a happy wife is a happy home' and I agree because ladies (gents too) I know so many times we put on this face of being in total control and happy when inside we falling apart. You are basically a kettle overfilled with water and boiling, you know what will happen once you pass your melting point! all hell will break lose so make sure you take time for you.

Relationships are not easy they need work but they were never meant to be hard either, they were made to be enjoyed and for two people to be happy together in oneness and enjoy what the world has to offer. There those of us who have been in relationships for so long that we have kind of gone and forgotten how it started and there are those who still living in  that past and neglecting the present. We need to be present in our lives and we need to start appreciating one another. Do some romantic gestures and I am not sharing buying expensive gifts, as lovely as those are I think the over tired mothers/fathers would rather have an hour to a day to themselves. The neglected lover would much rather have a romantic gesture - cook a meal or bring some flowers or do something the other loves and enjoys or just sit there and listen.

There are so many things I wish I had done this year, words I wish I never said and occurrences I wish never happened but there is no point in focusing on that. At this present moment in time I only have the chance, the opportunity to do something different. To say I am sorry, I love you, I believe in you or even to just sit down and listen. It's never to late you just have to start and move forward.

Week 21: Relationship Advice ~ You Know its worth it when...

Happy Monday peeps, welcome, its been a while since I last composed a heart to heart post. So today's post has come from some self reflection and I thought I share with you my lovely readers.

I was doing a clear up yesterday when I came across all the lovely cards that my boy friend has been sending me for the last 6 years. All the 6 valentines, the 6 birthdays and the 7 Christmas' they all have one theme in them "I love you more everyday", I will not lie to you it has not been easy but it has truly been worth it. Every relationship has its ups and downs but its how you work on it that determines its future at the end of the day.

When you watching TV dramas and movies they seem to give the illusion that everything works out in the end or that love shouldn't be hard or difficult and I agree at the most but I disagree too, why? Well because reality is different and man does it hit you hard once you wake up to it. There is a saying and its one of my favorite, it goes "Everything good is worth fighting for" or "Good things don't come easy".  Most say love shouldn't be hard but when is hard hard? I mean is it hard when you don't talk for a few days, weeks, months? or is it hard when you are totally ignored for 6 months? Hard is different for everyone so you can not compare your hard to your friends hard hence why I mostly disagree with TV dramas and movies when they try to portray relationships.

My advice to you as always:

• Look after number 1 (that's you)
• Bring everything to the lord in prayer
• Trust
• Compromise (both parties 50/50)
• Love - to encompass all of the above

Don't ever be fooled into thinking when you start everything will be and should be easy in a relationship, trusting and  loving your partner in all ways possible is what its about and then things will be as it should be. Do not know get me wrong, even a bad relationship can emanate from having all the above. Only you can and will know whats what for you.

That's all I had for this Monday morning, have a wonderful week.

The What Was and What is

Have you ever noticed now when things are not going your way you start to reminisce about the good old days? You remember them times ladies when he used to call you 7 times plus in a day, you didn't even have to ask some things he already knew cause he was observant! Or how he used to hold you or say your name? Those good old days when you thought he could not see past you anything outside you didn't not exist! Do you remember them times or are they too far back in your memory you can't even imagine them actually being reality thinking it may have been someone else' dream.

When this point arrives in your relationship ladies you gat a few options and I will mention some. 1) check why they have changed, what did you do? What did he do? Or what didn't either or you do? 2) can you work on this or not? If not run or yes put on your best shoes and work on it. 

Every girl knows we date men that sell us dreams, he may not even have said it but its how he carried himself before you that started to create that dream, in some case you can live that dream happily in other cases he sold you bulls and only wanted to get it on. 

Things change in every relationship good or bad but it's how you both behaviour towards it and how much influence you let the outside world have on your relationship. 

Guys am sure you have read this and thought ya what about us? Well what about you? Some of you are worth it some are not

So guys you treat your girl right all this time and you decide to test if she really loves you or the things YOU BUY so you start sliding, am not saying you should do this but it's a starting point to know. Some women will stay with you through think and thin some will bail. If the bail you know if they don't you know as well.

But don't be too quick to judge those who bail check the reasons and if its all money then you definitely know. 

Relationships are hard and always will be but when both parties are committed and in it for the long haul then you can make it work otherwise don't wasting each other's time. 

Let me know your thoughts on this topic. Please don't forget to like, comment and subscribe. 

Week 14: Relationship Advice ~ Trust

It's easier said than done but a relationship without trust is no relationship at all. I have learned first hand in past relationships that without trust you have nothing, your love will not last without trust because trust is the foundation and without a solid foundation your building will fall. You may ask why will it fall? Let's take this scenario:

"You find out that your partner had been cheating on you doesn't matter how long for but it has happened, most of us will often enough go for the self blame. What did I do or not do to make my partner cheat on me? I do not advocate cheating and I don't care your reasoning cheating is cheating plain and simple. Just because your partner don't give you what you want or need don't mean you get a free pass at cheating NO you DONT if your not happy and after talking about it nothing happens it's time to go so that once you free you can do what ever when ever. Now back to our scenario, after you forgive your partner and start feeling or know for a fact that you will never trust them again that's the time when the end or shall I say agony starts because:

1. Anytime they go out you start to imagine the worst
2. Anytime they talking to a friend on the phone you think something else
3. Every time they are late coming home or meeting up at agreed time you think something else

This is not and shall never be healthy, some of you might be saying I wouldn't even waste time thinking those things about my cheating partner but what you forgetting is you not thinking about them is also the end.

I will not claim to be an expert or even tell you how you should deal with it but I will share with you how I dealt with it in past relationships. Ladies that song by P!NK ~ blow me one last kiss! that speaks volume and I did it before pink sung it also Ceelo Green's cry baby ha!.I did the

1. I cried and died a little inside
2. I let go, I really had enough
3. I started to live my life, it's too short wasting on sh*t heads
4. I brought myself back into the dating world, I looked after and still do look after my happiness myself
5. I respect me first

So to end this unwarranted relationship advice post I wanted to say to you my readers, your priority should be number 1 = YOU, you are in charge of your own happiness. Until next time my lovelies, where ever you are happy day/night and blessings to God.

Week 9: Happy Belated Anniversary

Hello my lovely guys&dolls, firstly I would like to apologise to my readers for being MIA for the last two weeks and not really putting my heart and soul into my blogs. So many things have happened in my life that I can not share with you my readers but do not despair as God is looking after me.

Embracing the afro in 2014

Anyway back to today's post, my partner and I celebrated 6 years on sunday 19th and let me tell you it has been the best 6 years of my life and I cant wait to see what God has got planned for us for our future. Most of you know our story but if not check it out here, I can not believe how far we have come because we still treat each other and feel like we still in our honeymoon phase which is a wonderful feeling.

Cambride, UK

Before I met my partner I had dated some guys who made me feel bad about my self and I didnt appreciate myself enough, it took a while before I was comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful that I had a chance to kiss a few frogs before I found my partner because I appreciate my partner more. I think he came into my life at the right time not too late or too early just at the right time.

I am blessed to have what I have and to be where I am right now in my life, I am so excited about the next phase Marriage...Kids...etc and I pray I will get to experience this with my partner who has brought so much into my life and I am eternally grateful.

Do not get me wrong not everyday is perfect but its what we do about it and how hard we fight to get together that makes all the difference in the world. My advice to anyone is pray for you,your family/partner then your relationship. Always get God's opinion on this in your life, on sunday when we were at church the priest mentioned in the semmon that we all need "salt" in our lives to give us "flavour" and "tasteful" and God is the right kind of salt. This word stayed with me and my partner so much that  we were able to reflect on this for our relationship and I am happy we started our anniversary with a visit to the good lord's house.

we spent the rest of the beautiful day walking around cambridge then dined at a Brazilian resturant to sit, eat, drink and reflect on where we've come from and plan where we going.

I finished the day off by inviting Bruno mars to my eyes and replayed "Treasure".

Thank you for reading my post, see youin my next one.

Week 7: working together for together

Hello my lovelies? So today I wanted to share with you something that both equally annoys me and makes me laugh.

Since the day we met I have always been the planner and he has always been the last minute kinda man. I am one of those people who likes to plan way way in advance to the last detail because I don't like having to rush at the last minute and start regretting not planning in advance. Him on the other hand hates to plan in advance because their is always that chance that the plan might get cancelled and he hates it when his done all the work only to see them go to waste. I get that and I understand it totally but I keep saying to him that should really not stop us from living our lives and planning for the  future because there is also a chance that all the good plans done will come to flourish and will rejoice because we put in the effort. 

I will not lie and say last minute planning has never worked for me because it has but I will also admit on more than one occasion I have sat back and just wished I had started planning a little earlier. I remember one of my friends saying you guys are the last minute couple you probably end up planning your wedding the weekend before the wedding date and that is most likely true enough but I think because it's my wedding I would put in more time and effort. I remember in uni I had a friend who worked best when it was last minute and I was always amazed but I will say I preferred to plan way in advance all my assignments, my work schedule, my partying days and even days when I saw my man. That's me madam planner to the last underwear. 

Which one are you, planner or last minute?

Thanks for reading my post, see you in the next one and don't forget to check out my YouTube channel (http://www.youtube.com/myrabev)

Week 5: Heart Bearing ~ MEN!!!!

At the moment as I write this post his pissed me off more than once, I sometimes come to a point where I just want simple things to happen e.g if I ask for something I expect a response either it can be done or it can not be done either way am pleased. He also sometimes reaches a point where he just has water in his head instead of a brain and those times I detest very much.

Life is not perfect and I don't expect it to be daily but I do expect some sort of normalcy so that I don't go crazy and get admitted to the nearest psych ward. I will give you an example.

His working on something with his brother and I am in the next room when his laptop shuts down. I am sure he told me his password but I can't remember and at the risk of locking his computer I call out to him and ask for his password and he screams "just a second". 5 minutes later that "just a second" is still going and my anger is boiling at level 10.  I call out again and he says the same "just a second" what do I do, I go into what he calls the "quite mode" I don't say a thing and I just zone out it pisses him off but that's all I have before I slap him black and blue.

Another example, we talk and decide ok will go shopping after we do a few things for him in town. We head to town do his things and just when we are meant to go shopping and do my thing he says where are you going? Am like shopping like we discussed, he says well have changed my mind I have other things to do? Am like for real for real? He says yes so I just do my 'quiet mode' and he starts complaining about how he hates it when I do the quiet mode for nothing at all. He didn't even realise that he just broke our agreement and he's got the nerve to lecture me.

This may seem trivial to some people but when your brain has had enough anything and everything can make you explode in my case implode.

How do you guys deal with your partners when they p*** you off? I have decided arguing doesn't help me but the "quiet mode" does it apparently carries more punch.

Week 4: Soul Bearing ~ Praying for him

Believing in God or Allah is something that is personal and it's something I was taught in Sunday school. when the day comes you will answer for it alone NOT with your family or friends or partners no one just you, the good Lord and God.

I personally believe that to be the case for the future when The Lord returns but that does not stop me for praying for him and the him here is my partner G. We have been through a lot together and everything I have brought to The Lord in prayer (maybe he has too but his not shared that with me so I don't know) has been answered.

I wrote in my previous post that we don't choose who we far in love with, my partner is an "occasional" catholic I am now becoming an "occasional" New Apostolic which is not pleasing me but my circumstances bring me into that, I am not complaining I am merely stating it for the record.

I would like to think and keep believing that the reason my partner usually refuses to come to church with me is because his scared stiff of my dad than to think maybe he doesn't believe or he just prefers not to. I know the answer but I prefer for him to surprise me.

I pray for him as much if not more than I pray for me because I love him and I want God to keep opening up his favours for him maybe I am being selfish here because with what God provides for him I partake too.

If there is one message I would like my readers to take from this is that, prayer is a very powerful too which should not be taken lightly but full heartedly and with great humbleness and love for The Lord.

Take everything to The Lord in prayer.

Week 4: Soul Sharing ~ Interracial Couples!!!

I have been asked so many times, why did you decide to date outside your race? It's not a question I care for but it's one I get, a famous quote I am sure your all familiar with "we don't choose who we fall in love with".

My first true boyfriend was black and I loved him truly he loved me and we thought our search for life partners was over, as they say you never know what life will throw in your way until your experiencing it. Life got in the way, my family moved us to another continent were I confess I realised that I was too young to think I had found the one, if indeed I had nothing would have swayed me from that obstacles or not I would still have been able to find my way back because my God wouldn't keep me away from my love unless he was not my love but someone to show love too and nurture.

When we moved to the uk my first true boy friend here was White European, again I thought I had found my love but after praying, believing and hoping I was to find he was not my love I was devastated I decided I was going to date from my race, unfortunately he hurt me and disappointed me bad. Through prayer and patience The Lord helped me find my partner G, I know I should not compare but there so many things that I thought I was not entitled to in my previous relationships that his shown me in abundance. The love emanates from him so brightly that sometimes I pinch my self just to make sure it's not a dream (The movie inception comes to mind). I pray everyday and still the love shows me this is him this is the one, the things this man has done for me I can not even count but I throw a little pray heaven wards to thank the good lord up there for delivery this man to me.

When I look at him I don't seem white man I see a man who loves me, cares for me and cherishes me like a glass that would break if not looked after properly. I remember he ounces told me his mother bless her heart told him and his brothers to always treat a woman the way they would treat her, she told them to cherish, love, protect and care for the woman in their lives like no other. I thank The Lord for this woman for she created these amazing gentlemen with hearts of gold.

I have on many occasions gotten weird looks from my black people when they see me walking or embracing my love, some am sure are just jealous were as others can not understand it. I really don't care what people think about interracial couples love us hate us I ain't loosing sleep over it, the good lord gave me what I have the good lord will help me through it too.

Thank you for reading my post, please let me know your views below in the comments section. Good day, God bless x

Week 4: Soul Sharing ~ I am who I am!!

Happy Tuesday!!!

The worse thing that can happen to someone is to change to suit other people and lose themselves in the process, it happens! I have seen it happen and I am pretty certain you have too. I believe change should be a personal decision not one forced upon someone, because the rebellious consequences would be deadly should it ever happen.

I am sure we all have things in our lives that we wish would be different and that's good because that's you making the decision not someone else and please do not misquote me if your parents are making decisions which are for your benefit please adhere to them because they see 10 years in the future for you but us children we usually only see past tomorrow.

I have things in my life that I wish I could change but I have told myself never to change it because it's part of who I am what have gone through and how I came to be who I am.

When I was 3 months old (so am told) I was dropped by my auntie who later on helped raise me and who I dearly love to death. I broke my leg but I got better because my bones miraculously fused back together and I am not disable in any way. From the drop, the only thing I have been left with is a scar on my knee which I remember for years as a teenager I hated to death and wished one day or as I grew older I could have it removed (unfortunately for me I am scared s**t of surgery). I remember when I was a kid with no care in the world I wore short clothes like any normal kid, when I grew up and people used to look at me funny because of my scar I started to feel ashamed and ugly so much that I hid and refused to go out unless my knees were covered and back in the day my parents never allowed us girls to wear trousers only skirts and dresses.

I remember how much I wanted to be like other girls who could wear what ever when ever and people didn't give then pity looks, I dreamt of a day people would not even see the scar they would just see me. When I started seeing my partner G I was so wary that he would not like me if he ever saw my scar, one day he did and he just looked at me and smiled. He saw how I flinched and how uncomfortable I got, I tried to hide the scar and he stopped me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he has ever had the pleasure of going out with and the scar just added the spice to my beauty.

I looked at him and all I saw was sincerity, love and care! From that day on I never looked at my scar the same way, it's never something I am ashamed of anymore but something I embrace and cheer it's my identify those it does not define me wholly. I changed the way I viewed my scar because I wanted to and believed so much that what my partner saw/sees it's how it is. My parents have never once loved me less because of my scar, they know it's there and I am sure they remember quite clearly how I got it but all they see is there daughter alive, happy and well.

I decided to share this with you guys firstly because of my friend  Dharia who shared her story here and secondly because I know how us girls always thinking we are less than other girls who seem to have it all, trust me when I say they don't. Just believe in yourself, be happy with what you have and loved those close to you and don't give the world the power over you. You are different and special in your own way and that's ok, this world is better because we are all different.

Relationship Advice: Sharing is caring

So last night I was chatting with my partner on the phone when he mentioned something that caught my attention, I asked him about it and he said he thought I knew! (The nerve on him!!!). I calmly and collected said no I did not know because he never told me about it. After he apologised we continued talking when again I learned something I didn't know but this time when I asked his response was "I didn't want to burden you with my problems" I don't know about you but I got upset because as thoughtful as that is he decided for me without asking me first. When you are in a relationship honest, trust come with a little tag called sharing with one another not just the good stuff but the bad stuff too. If I only know of the good stuff how on earth am I going to deal with that one bad thing when it pops it's ugly head?

I understand feeling ashamed, embarrassed even annoyed for whatever you feel or think is an I inconvenience to your partner but if you can't share your most difficult and upsetting thing in your life why do you have that partner in your life? I am sure you can tell from my tone that I am upset and honestly I am but I am mostly saddened because he felt its his burden to deal with no OURS.

I share everything with my partner maybe a bit too much but I want him to know what's going on with me both inside and out, I don't pick and choose because I prefer he heard it from me first and not third parties especially with how people how are out to ruin us.

My advice to anyone who wants it and is going through what I am, don't feel it's best to only share the good stuff because what creates a stronger relationship and partnership is sharing both the good and the bad. Love, trust and honest is usually tested during the hardships in life not always when the going is good.

Thank you for reading my rambling, take care and God bless.

Relationships: This R/ship is between two people NOT plus the world

Hello peeps!!! So recently I had a momental relapse in judgement and I lost my self control which in most instances I would brag its one good quality I possess. What had happened was for over 6 months some unhappy people have just been trying to make me as unhappy as them and I usually ignored them people it really didn't get to me or even scatch the surface. But then one day they decided since talking about me wasn't doing anything they decided attacking my partner would do it and congratulations to them they found the switch because I lost it and I was fuming but since beating people black and blue is illegal I thought I will vent on Facebook and I did. Now I feel horrible not because I defended my relationship but because I stooped to their level. 

If you've read or watched my videos you will know have mentioned how hard relationships can be and extra stuff from people out to get you doesn't help. Relationships are between two people not us and the world, what have learnt in the last couple days is that I really do not have to justify my relationship with my partner to anyone if you ain't God or Jesus then sorry I ain't listening I will listen to the wise not to people who only think that we should all be miserable as them.

So if you experienced or are experiencing hard times in your relationship due to outside influence just remember relationships are between two people. Firstly look after number one, that's the two if you then conquer the world together. 

Off-Sunday: My blog in pictures - Happy 1 week

Hello Guys&Dolls!!

Firstly welcome to December, you can start putting up your trees now and for those of us wanting to squeeze into that dress we have 20 days left (4 days can be spent travelling or pulling our hair out because because). Secondly please use my personalised links to check out what presents you can get your loved ones or me(*smiling*) for Christmas from JOY or via SHOPACADE.

Today this blog is 1 week old, I am so glad I made to decision to start second blog look at my starts!!!!

Look at what my popular posts are :

This blog has a theme of:

* Relationship - mainly advice based on my relationship or my past relationships 

* Personal Confessions - mainly weight related and how I am keeping feet

* Off-(***) - these are Friday, Saturday and Sunday where I talk randomly.

I would like to thank all of you for reading my blog, you know why this blog came about if not click HERE.  Please follow my blog via Google+, Bloglovin, SheBeauty and please sponsor me too and note all sponsorship money made will used to put back into the blogosphere to help support/promote other bloggers. 

As always thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate it greatly. Happy 1st December 2013. 

Relationships: Looking Good for US*

Hey Guys&Dolls!!! Happy Thursday, today's post is quick, short and sweet. So today I am talking about looking good, and looking good for who? You and him/her.

There comes a time in every relationship when everybody just gets comfortable. I will be the first to admit that I got waaay way comfortable in this my relationship. I used to have a house mate who used to dress up like crazy for her man whom she saw daily, me on the other hand I was happy in my warm pj's and my leggings with no look just plain simple comfy life. 

Well that has changed now and I an putting in my every effort to look good for me then for him and us, but firstly it's for me above all else. 

So to give an example, I wrong this chestnut orange dressmy man bought me and paired it with my favourite black heels with little to no accessories unless tights count as accessories. What you guys think?

I think it's important to remind your partner that sexy you ain't dead still here. Because I am constantly told men are visual creatures who see something one and they wanna touch so put your best on and let him/her touch you not your good looking friend of yours. 

Thanks for reading, please comment below I read each comment and reply within 24hours. 

Relationships: Growing together

Hello Guys&Dolls!! Happy Wednesday!

Welcome back to my relationship series, today's blog we will quickly touch on growing together and what that means. Relationships are hard work but they are only as hard as you make them, it's so easy to watch other peoples relationship and wish you had that. All well and good admiring a good healthy relationship but I was taught long time ago "don't wish to live like your neighbour, you never know what deals with the devil they had to make" in other words don't wish to have what they have without knowing there inner story. 

Over the last 6 years my partner and I have been growing together nicely and moulding wonderfully. I will not sugarcoat it, it was hard at times but we both knew what we wanted out of this relationship, where we were headed and what we had to do to get their. 

We have made scarifies both of us, some we did not like at that time but I always believe The Lord wouldn't willingly let me fall in a pit without a heads up first. I know people always say "oh I never knew a thing" when the break up but think carefully about it because God will always give you the signs, if you pray about it they will light up like a Christmas tree. 

My advice is -:

* pray about it in private just you and the good lord

* pray together and work together to compliment each other. 

* Trust one another, the benefit of the doubt is the key.

* love and Accept each other as you are with all the imperfections. 

* Most importantly listen to one another so you can really hear your partner, grow together and believe in each other.

Thank you for reading my blog, I hope this was helpful. Please comment below for anything. 

Relationship Advice - Part 2

Source Unknown

So here is part 2 of my relationship advice, and today's topic is on Trust. Trust is a big word that should not be taken lightly, many will say to you I trust you but when the time comes for them to show it they are the first people to throw you under the bus so its very important to have a good foundation for any relationship to survive. Without trust what do you really have?

Let me know what you think, please comment, like and subscribe.

Relationship Advice - Part 1

Source unknown

Welcome to my relationship advice series, this is a different kind of blog post because its video based. I will be talking about experiences from my own past relationships and current relationship, please note all opinions are my own and I do not mean to offend anyone.

Let me know what you think!!!Comments are most welcome. x

Myrabev