Week 55: Personal Confessions ~ It's never too late just start

It's the 12th month, the year has come to an end. It's time to sit down and reflect on your relationships for the past 12 months, how do you think you have done? Could you have done something different? Do you have any regrets? Are there things that you wish you had done and/or said to someone? What words would you take back if given the chance? What occurrences would you do differently if given the chance? 

I am sure you are reading this and somethings are coming to mind, you do not have to reveal them to anyone these are for you. I have always said in my many Relationship Advice posts that it's always important to look after number ONE and that is always, I am sure many mother's who are up to their elbows in baby this and that would just want to stab me for saying this especially since I am not a mother and don't know what I am talking about but I will tell you from what I have seen and experienced from my own mother. 

My mother always made time for her self be it at night when her children and husband plus the 7 other people we looked after had gone to sleep. My mother is one woman who functions best after a good 3-hour sleep - I have inherited this and don't like it but helps with my blogging and my 9-5 job. I will not claim it was easy or always possible but she always made sure she had at least 1 hour twice a week to herself and in doing so she was a wonderful mother that she is. You need to take care of you first before anyone else and I am not saying physically always but mentally and emotionally too, you just need some time to switch off your brain and think me me me and then back to your daily life. A more relaxed and happy you is a more and happy household, I once heard on the bus going home two older men discussing something when one said 'a happy wife is a happy home' and I agree because ladies (gents too) I know so many times we put on this face of being in total control and happy when inside we falling apart. You are basically a kettle overfilled with water and boiling, you know what will happen once you pass your melting point! all hell will break lose so make sure you take time for you.

Relationships are not easy they need work but they were never meant to be hard either, they were made to be enjoyed and for two people to be happy together in oneness and enjoy what the world has to offer. There those of us who have been in relationships for so long that we have kind of gone and forgotten how it started and there are those who still living in  that past and neglecting the present. We need to be present in our lives and we need to start appreciating one another. Do some romantic gestures and I am not sharing buying expensive gifts, as lovely as those are I think the over tired mothers/fathers would rather have an hour to a day to themselves. The neglected lover would much rather have a romantic gesture - cook a meal or bring some flowers or do something the other loves and enjoys or just sit there and listen.

There are so many things I wish I had done this year, words I wish I never said and occurrences I wish never happened but there is no point in focusing on that. At this present moment in time I only have the chance, the opportunity to do something different. To say I am sorry, I love you, I believe in you or even to just sit down and listen. It's never to late you just have to start and move forward.

Week 53: Personal Confessions ~ My Christmas is different to yours

When I was growing up Christmas was always the highlight of december. You see back home, though we always had chicken throughout the year there was always some 'chickens' (mostly kids got the big pieces on this one day) that were just for christmas, so you can imagine as a kid just waiting to have this christmas kind of chicken on christmas day. Not many people around us could afford to even have the simplest of christmas foods or items that we had the pleasure of having and now are even more fortunate to have. My mother made sure every single day of our lives was lived like christmas but christmas still carried more emphasis than other days (excluding birthdays and easter). Talking to friends and/or reading posts on the blogosphere you get a sense of different christmas traditions and how most people would wait till the morning to find out what father christmas has brought them. For us it was not always the case that we got presents, my parents focused us more on celebrating the day with friends & family at church then heading home to eat the feast that was mother's wonderful cooking. Somehow the meals that she cooked every day of the year couldn't quite match the one she did for christmas even the cakes that she baked daily seemed to lack something that the christmas cake held.

These are some of my earliest memories of my christmas back home in Zambia, so when I came across a charity that is working to help support different families in some countries in Africa I was so moved that I contacted them to see if I could include them in this post. We are all different and support different causes and for me this is one that is close to my heart because I can relate at a personal level. The charity is called send a cow (the cow called Gloria modelling this 'amoosing' christmas jumper had me in stitches, she is so on trend with the festive season) and they help families in Africa via different initiatives and this year they have a christmas catalogue which contains gifts that make a difference to poverty-stricken families in 7 African countries. The charity are using the 'wild, wacky and of questionable taste of bright jumpers' during this festive period to raise awareness of 'send a cow's aim of selling 20, 000 festive gifts that make a difference to poverty stricken African families.

Replacing the traditional jumper pattern of snowmen or crackers, this udderly stylish Christmas jumper has been created to showcase the charity’s latest altruistic Christmas gifts catalogue, and was custom-knit with maximum comfort and fit in mind for the fashion-conscious cow.  Gloria the cow, a purebred Jersey from Devon, didn’t bat an eyelid at being fitted with the jumper, which fits with Velcro straps and is based on one of her existing comfortable coats.  Gifts range from ‘Local Cow’ (£205), which provides a farming family with milk and manure; ‘Little Donkey’ (£9) which helps families take good care of their four-legged friends who transport farm produce to market; and ‘Tip Tap’ (£10), a bestseller which improves hygiene levels in areas where soap and water are luxuries.

About Send a Cow

Send a Cow was started by West Country farmers 25 years ago and in that time has transformed the lives of over one million people. Send a Cow works hand-in-hand with families in Africa, teaching them the skills they need to build lives free from poverty and hunger. By providing training, livestock, seeds and support, the charity helps create stronger communities for the future.

Send a Cow works with poor families in seven African countries, providing practical farming assistance that will last for generations to come and supporting families through every step of their journey out of poverty.

Our lives are different now so are our circumstances but somehow we don't seem to have changed much when it comes to christmas and I guess that's our christmas tradition, granted now we give and get presents every year but mostly they are things that you need like for me one year my mother got me a bathrobe I worn it until it had holes in it and looked more like a shirt than a robe on my 5'7 frame. I guess my confession today is more to say we all have different traditions and I love mine am sure as much as you love yours. Sometimes it becomes too overwhelming with the amount of posts that are all about "ooh this is what I am giving for christmas or what I am getting for christmas", not everyone is as fortunate as we are. So in our happiness of what we have let us remember those that do not have it. I do not know what kind of christmas tradition I will have in the future with my future kids but I do want to make sure its one where they appreciate the true meaning of christmas and not just the presents part which if God willing will be able to afford then will give. Don't forget the meaning of christmas whether you believe it to be Christ's birthday or not, its the spirit of giving and spending time with loved ones and being thankful for the wonders that never cease as we see another day. And also spare a thought for those who are not so fortunate and if you can lend a hand do so, it does not have to be extravagant it just has to be meaningful.

Simon Barnes, CEO of Send a Cow said; “This year we’ve taken the idea of the quirky Christmas jumper one step further, to encourage people to think differently about the gifts they buy this Christmas. Instead of buying chocolate for a friend, why not buy something unusual - for as little as £5 you will greatly improve the lives of poverty-stricken families in Africa. This is our 13th year of the Christmas catalogue and over the years we’ve raised over eight million pounds to help poor families. We really hope that you will support us this year by buying a gift, to help us change even more lives this Christmas and beyond.”

Happy 1st day of December.

PS - The Send a Cow catalogues is available online, click HERE.

Week 31: Personal Confessions ~ Faith without work is dead

Hi there and welcome to week #31 of personal confessions! Every other week or so I share with my readers my personal confessions and these range from what I am going through, been through or has happened or affected me in one way or another. If you missed my last confession click HERE, my last confession was about fear and how crippling I found it to be due to a bad past experience. This week I wanted to share something even more close to my heart and that's my faith.

Disclaimer:  In sharing this I do not claim to be an expert or wishing to impose or force anyone to conclude that my faith or church or background is better than anyone. Here I aim to share person experience from my point of view, this is by no means a post to offend but to enlighten.

Born in '87 to two amazing parents with great faith and coming from parents who were either preachers or where people to be thought of as "close to God" in all sense. Baptised same year of birth and being brought up to believe in Christ the lord our redeemer, to love thy neighbour as thy self and to love God above all else. Growing in neighbourhood of fellow believer though of different denominations but praying to the same God. From birth till 14 years of age, my parents interceded on my behalf and spoke for me to my lord and saviour. I would at 13 start to be taught to take on the responsibility of talking to God directly and asking him myself instead of my parents. I cherished (and still do) the teachings of the bible and looked forward to the day I will stand before the lord and;

"renounce Satan and all his works and ways and surrender myself to thee, o' trying God, father, son and the holy spirit in belief and earnest resolution until my end amen"

Before I took on the role to intercede for myself with the lord, I had to seek forgiveness from my parents for all the things I did wrong or offended them with whether knowingly or not. Though an emotional and though felt like hard decision it was one that I would not change or trade for the world. From start to finish of preparations, I was taught the 10 commandments and the 12 vows of the church, though I understood the words I probably did not grasp the full meaning until fast forward 13 years later.

After growing up in a country and deep down to the town of fellow believers and encouraging peers to a place, a town where faith is not as common as a daily enjoyable activity tests ones faith, tests ones promise to the lord. When I look back 12-13 years ago, if I missed a service or even a choir practice it was because I was so ill or was out of town and even then it was highly unlikely. Fasting forward back to today and I can count how many times this year I have been to the lord's house. I can feel the small light left in my soul flicking in the darkness that threatens to consume me.

Faith comes from doing the work, the work of the lord uncompromising and no excuses. I ask my fellow church/temple/mosque goes when was the last time you were in the Lord's house and felt his hand on your shoulder? When was the last time you felt the scripture was read specifically for you? Who do you run to when in need of the love that Christ showed on the cross of Calvary?

At the beginning of this year I promised my lord and saviour change was in sight, I would attend church or praise my lord at every opportunity and I can I have mostly done that but I feel for the light to grow even more than before I need to put in more work to propel my faith and let the hand of God guide me through this jungle called life. My life to me may not be easy at times but I have so many blessings that the hard times can not even compare or measure up. The blessings I received daily both visible and non-visible to my naked eyes I appreciate them, the air that I breath even just waking up and seeing another day is more than good enough as I know not many people can say that.

My words of wisdom for the day "don't compare your life to someone else, be happy with what you have even though not perfect its perfect for you and always look at the positive and never the negative"

Week 21: Relationship Advice ~ You Know its worth it when...

Happy Monday peeps, welcome, its been a while since I last composed a heart to heart post. So today's post has come from some self reflection and I thought I share with you my lovely readers.

I was doing a clear up yesterday when I came across all the lovely cards that my boy friend has been sending me for the last 6 years. All the 6 valentines, the 6 birthdays and the 7 Christmas' they all have one theme in them "I love you more everyday", I will not lie to you it has not been easy but it has truly been worth it. Every relationship has its ups and downs but its how you work on it that determines its future at the end of the day.

When you watching TV dramas and movies they seem to give the illusion that everything works out in the end or that love shouldn't be hard or difficult and I agree at the most but I disagree too, why? Well because reality is different and man does it hit you hard once you wake up to it. There is a saying and its one of my favorite, it goes "Everything good is worth fighting for" or "Good things don't come easy".  Most say love shouldn't be hard but when is hard hard? I mean is it hard when you don't talk for a few days, weeks, months? or is it hard when you are totally ignored for 6 months? Hard is different for everyone so you can not compare your hard to your friends hard hence why I mostly disagree with TV dramas and movies when they try to portray relationships.

My advice to you as always:

• Look after number 1 (that's you)
• Bring everything to the lord in prayer
• Trust
• Compromise (both parties 50/50)
• Love - to encompass all of the above

Don't ever be fooled into thinking when you start everything will be and should be easy in a relationship, trusting and  loving your partner in all ways possible is what its about and then things will be as it should be. Do not know get me wrong, even a bad relationship can emanate from having all the above. Only you can and will know whats what for you.

That's all I had for this Monday morning, have a wonderful week.

Week 15: Lamenting ~ word of the month

Owner unknown.

I wrote this post earlier on in the year but I think it's so applicable this December too because most people are looking at what they had set to accomplish by the end of the year and not much has changed. I happy to say I took some steps and stepped out of my comfort zone (as I read recently in your comfort zone there is no room for growth). I am happy to say I feel I am doing what I said I would do in March and living my life proactively, loving me and most importantly having God as the pilot in my life. 

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When you heard the title of this post what was the first thing that came to mind? Me myself and I we thought "laminates" I know crazy right?? Yep indeed crazy because I am not talking about laminates but the full meaning of the word lamenting! Lamenting is a word used to express regret, why am I using it now? Well I do personally have regrets but the main reason is because it was the word used at the youth service I recently attended.

March is a time when many people start to either express regrets because they did not start working on their New Years resolution or because they are now realising they were being unrealistic and are now giving up the resolutions. January and most of February most gyms across the country were packed with people signing up to gym memberships or even gym classes. I am sad to announce that I am one of those who regretting not doing my gym schedule as I had promised myself I would do. Though it was not a New Years resolution because I had in fact started going to the gym last October but regardless march is the month I have had a moment to reflect and verse out my regret. 

So now we have found out that most people are lamenting this month, what's the next step? Well for me personally is to change my outlook on things, I have always been a personal who procrastinates a lot and i did mention when I started a July dreamer that procrastination is a thing of the past now I will be a doer. I must confess (pun tended) that I have not really changed much in way of procrastination. I still find myself day/night dreaming about things I could just actually get up and do that instance instead of overthinking things. So here is my new plan:

* I do not have to join another gym, where I am now I am getting the exercise I need. LIVING PROACTIVELY

* I have started taking charge of my being, it has become exhausting trying otherwise. MOVING FORWARD and LOVING ME

* God is now my main pilot and I a co-pilot of my life. GOD's IN CHARGE 

So this is my new plan which is effective immediately, What is or was your plan for 2014?

Week 10: Pink Pimping me out!!

Hand cream
Body mist
Shampoo

Cherish Pink Perfume
Body mist
Face mask
Baby lotion
Palmolive conditioner
Dr. Miracle's Neutralising shampoo

Hello peeps!! So today I have come to  share with you my bathroom pimping ways, like most people I like  to pimp my bath times because I am more of a shower person than bath. I have listed the products  I use above so wont list them below. I don't do face masks but this time I needed to go the whole way. What's you bath pimping like?

Week 8: Moving on....and back!!!

                                             

So have moved back home with my parents, it's certainly nice but it's weird as well because it feels like once you leave you can not come back unless visiting. I feel like I am on holiday every time I am back near.

It's less than 20 days since we started 2014 and you wouldn't believe how much has changed and happened in my life. It's scary to think it's less than a month and I have experienced this much, how am I gonna cope with the rest of the 11 months The Lord has in store for me? Then I reminded myself  on one of the beautiful songs we sing at my church, me and my sis used to sing this to our faces it was fun (aaah good times).

"Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey"

If someone was to ask my guide for this year, I would direct them to the line above. I don't think I would be where I am right now if I did not trust in The Lord. I got through so many things in my life but I never fear because I know The Lord wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle, no evil cast against me shall prosper.

Looking back.... so much I enjoyed and wouldn't change for the world

Looking forward... I can not wait to see what God has in store for me

That's all I wanted to share with you guys, till my next post. Ciao.

Relationship Advice: Sharing is caring

So last night I was chatting with my partner on the phone when he mentioned something that caught my attention, I asked him about it and he said he thought I knew! (The nerve on him!!!). I calmly and collected said no I did not know because he never told me about it. After he apologised we continued talking when again I learned something I didn't know but this time when I asked his response was "I didn't want to burden you with my problems" I don't know about you but I got upset because as thoughtful as that is he decided for me without asking me first. When you are in a relationship honest, trust come with a little tag called sharing with one another not just the good stuff but the bad stuff too. If I only know of the good stuff how on earth am I going to deal with that one bad thing when it pops it's ugly head?

I understand feeling ashamed, embarrassed even annoyed for whatever you feel or think is an I inconvenience to your partner but if you can't share your most difficult and upsetting thing in your life why do you have that partner in your life? I am sure you can tell from my tone that I am upset and honestly I am but I am mostly saddened because he felt its his burden to deal with no OURS.

I share everything with my partner maybe a bit too much but I want him to know what's going on with me both inside and out, I don't pick and choose because I prefer he heard it from me first and not third parties especially with how people how are out to ruin us.

My advice to anyone who wants it and is going through what I am, don't feel it's best to only share the good stuff because what creates a stronger relationship and partnership is sharing both the good and the bad. Love, trust and honest is usually tested during the hardships in life not always when the going is good.

Thank you for reading my rambling, take care and God bless.

Week 1 - Personal Confessions: Oooops Moments!!!

Hello to you my Guys&Dolls? I hope you having a good start to week!!! happy Tuesday, so over the weekend I found myself reading a lot of magazines (Reveal, Best etc) I bought one of those 3 in a pack for price of one. I have never really been one to sit down and read an entire magazine but this gone weekend I did exactly just that I sat down and read all the stories and that's when I came across a short advert/confessions from women around the country (I assume).

The so called ooops moments has plagued me for the past month or more can't tell anymore, I can not for the life of me fathom why I am experiencing this. Firstly it started with me constantly visiting the little ladies room then when I was too busy at work I would forget until I felt a ooops happening. This has been really bothering me but at present I do not have the time to actually go and see a nurse so I did some research of my own and I am sure I fit perfectly in a couple of categories so now I will book some time off and go see a doctor or nurse.

I did my research using the National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Informstion Clearinghouse (NKUDIC) a mouth full I know but I wanted something accredited because as we all know self diagnosing is a big issue in this era. So this website said:

"Bladder control problems are something that happen not only when you get older but it can happen at all stages". 

The website went to describe the different types of bladder control problems -

* Temporary incontinence - it's in the name it's temporary and can be cured once cause is found.

* Stress incontinence - again it's in the name but this one is not caused by mental stress, the stress here is bladder stress e.g. Laughing too much, sneezing, coughing etc.

* Mixed incontinence - this could be a mix of the two above or other types

There many others that are listed, this site did not stop there but also listed some of the causes - 

* Medicine, alcohol, and caffeine - some medicines can relax your bladder nerves which keeps them from telling the brain that the bladder is full. Alcohol as we all know causes the nerves to fail where as caffeine causes the bladder to fill up more quickly.

* Excess weight - if you too fat for your body frame, this could leave to stress on your bladder leading to oops moments.

* Infection - this is usually the cause in most people, UTL can irritate the bladder nerves making them squeeze without any warning. <-- I think this is my current cause but I will check with my doctor.

There many ways to health reduce the ooops moments and some of those include limiting the number and types of drinks you drink at night, diet, weight loss etc but my favourite one is Pelvic Muscle Strengthening <-- this can be achieved by doing the Kegel Exercises.

Kegel exercises helps to strengthen the pelvic muscle without using any equipments and best part is once you learn how it's done you can do it anywhere but the catch is finding the right muscles to squeeze. It's suggested that after about 8 weeks of Kegel practice you should notice a difference in your frequency of urination.

Thank you for reading my blog, I signed up to try new Tena liners to help with my ooops moments. If you want to try them please visit: lightsbyTENA.co.uk you can also downloaded my pelvice floor fitness "MY PFF" App at lightsbyTENA.co.uk/my-pelvic-floor-fitness.

***Please note this is NOT a sponsored post***