Hi there! So after last week's post I got really good feedback and people have been asking me questions and one of them is "How do you deal with disappointment". If you read my post a couple weeks back about "the blogger behind the blog" you will remember that I mentioned I am a very emotional person because for me anything and everything goes straight to my heart and it hurts. I know most people have a filter so that things only reach and stay in their heads but for me my heart receives it before my brain does and it causes all sorts of issues for me BUT that is also my strength. I know you confused now because How can someone who gets hurt easily also have that as a strength?
Since I was a kid if anyone said or did anything to me I cried not necessary whaling but tears will follow. As I started to grow I used to try and blink the tears back so that I do not cry there and then but I don't know about you I love a good cry because then I get over it (disappointment or pain) quickly that way and it leaves my system faster than most people. So much that anytime I think of the hurt have experienced I don't get mad because I cried the MAD out of me, these days especially I just laugh then I look at the situation and best way to go about it. I also have another way of dealing with hurt and disappointment, I write things down. I will tell you a story of one of my first biggest disappointment in life.
I remember when I was 13 and started dating my FIRST crush, I thought @13 that he was THE ONE. I felt so much "love or lust" that I thought without him I would be lost bearing in mind I was way happy before he came along. Then one day the devil tested that supposed love I had for this boy, the crush asked me @13 him 18 to have sex with him. In today's talk that's rape pure and simple because apparently mental capacity of 13 year old is not high enough to understand full consequences of ones actions. Anyway, I was so hurt that he asked me that because my belief system told me NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE (back then). I told him NO and said (will never forget this) go find yourself a girl who wants to have sex with you because I ain't her. And by the grace of the heavens he did do just that, I found out about it obviously like a fool last. Because his sister and I were in same class and people were so interested in my relationship they all knew before me (high school for you). The girl he slept with was older than me and scared of me too, every time she saw me she used to leg it (funny that). So anyway, after the incident I decided that was it but before all could be concluded his friend who had a crush on me asked to see me I went innocently to talk to him. He made me laugh and smile which I hadn't done at that time for a while, whilst chatting my crush arrived and ignored the jesus outta me obviously I was hurt because he wronged me but because I had cried it out and wrote it all I didn't care that much. Later when I was leaving he had the audacity to accuse me of cheating and saying it was my fault for him sleeping with another girl "granted I told him to find someone else to sleep with" but not when we were dating. You should be happy to know my sweet 13 dumped his ass and found better frogs along the way, 4 years later the crush came back begging for my forgiveness. What the crush didn't know was the day I said goodbye to our relationship was the day I forgave him. I didn't have and still don't have time to hate people or not forgive them, I only have room for happiness and smiles all day long nothing else.
So this is how I deal with disappointments, I cry, I write it all down (don't send anywhere bad idea) then I forge ahead with my head held high and take one day at a time because rushing through the pain will just bring you faster than a sinking ship.
Thank you for reading my personal confessions, I hope they are helpful and if you have questions don't forget to email them to me --> myrabev@ajulydreamer.com, now how do you deal with disappointment?
Labels: Life, Personal confessions
