Week 42: Personal Confessions ~ Don't compare


Hi there and welcome to another round of my personal confessions. Today's confession is based on my current thoughts and what I am trying to get rid of in my thought process but as you may well know it's not easy. Last night I decided to check out a few close friends and some long time friends as well as family friends. In the process of doing that I found myself comparing my self to all these people and not once did I think I was better than them by circumstance or by position I felt really lacking in so many areas.
I have always spoken about the plan that I had growing up in Zambia as a child. I remember telling my mother the following:
1) I will finish school and do a nursing diploma (back home it's diploma not degree)
2) I will get married right after finishing my nursing course and by
3) age 23 I will have my first child just like you did mummy ( forgot to factor in that by that time she owned her home and had great income plus back then things were different).

I wanted and still do want to follow in my mother's footsteps but of my three promises above I did only one. I

1) Finished school, went to university and became a pharmacologist (not a nurse can't stand needles)
2) I haven't gotten married (yet) but am not rushing.
3) I am 27 and no where near having kids (by choice).

I realised back then those were my options and my goals and they ain't bad goals either but when we moved to the UK the play ground changed and so did my goals.

So if I understand this and have no regrets why then do (or did) I feel very inadequate when I went on fb and saw what I saw. Yes I would very much like to get married and yes I would very much like to have kids but one thing I really have to keep reminding myself of is " it's all in good time, God's time". I will not lie to you, I do have moments were even though I am a preachers child and a child of God I still have my moments of doubt of confliction of sorrow and at times I do feel defeated but one thing I do have in abundance is hope. 

I do not know if God has a husband and kids in my future but I do know whatever he has for me I will have a blast with it. My advice to my readers and friends: don't compare or wish you had what your friends have "you do not know what they gave up to have what they have" " you do not know the pain and suffering beyond that smile". I know it's easy to say be happy with what you have but I also know it's hard. All we can ever do in this life is trust in God and try your best at this thing called life. 

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::The Myrabev Life::: Week 42: Personal Confessions ~ Don't compare

Friday, September 19, 2014

Week 42: Personal Confessions ~ Don't compare


Hi there and welcome to another round of my personal confessions. Today's confession is based on my current thoughts and what I am trying to get rid of in my thought process but as you may well know it's not easy. Last night I decided to check out a few close friends and some long time friends as well as family friends. In the process of doing that I found myself comparing my self to all these people and not once did I think I was better than them by circumstance or by position I felt really lacking in so many areas.
I have always spoken about the plan that I had growing up in Zambia as a child. I remember telling my mother the following:
1) I will finish school and do a nursing diploma (back home it's diploma not degree)
2) I will get married right after finishing my nursing course and by
3) age 23 I will have my first child just like you did mummy ( forgot to factor in that by that time she owned her home and had great income plus back then things were different).

I wanted and still do want to follow in my mother's footsteps but of my three promises above I did only one. I

1) Finished school, went to university and became a pharmacologist (not a nurse can't stand needles)
2) I haven't gotten married (yet) but am not rushing.
3) I am 27 and no where near having kids (by choice).

I realised back then those were my options and my goals and they ain't bad goals either but when we moved to the UK the play ground changed and so did my goals.

So if I understand this and have no regrets why then do (or did) I feel very inadequate when I went on fb and saw what I saw. Yes I would very much like to get married and yes I would very much like to have kids but one thing I really have to keep reminding myself of is " it's all in good time, God's time". I will not lie to you, I do have moments were even though I am a preachers child and a child of God I still have my moments of doubt of confliction of sorrow and at times I do feel defeated but one thing I do have in abundance is hope. 

I do not know if God has a husband and kids in my future but I do know whatever he has for me I will have a blast with it. My advice to my readers and friends: don't compare or wish you had what your friends have "you do not know what they gave up to have what they have" " you do not know the pain and suffering beyond that smile". I know it's easy to say be happy with what you have but I also know it's hard. All we can ever do in this life is trust in God and try your best at this thing called life. 

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26 Comments:

At 21 September 2014 at 00:15 , Blogger Elyse Silver said...

I loved this post lovely. I think you're doing pretty fantastic to have achieved what you have already. As you said the rest will come in their own time, just keep believing that everything will happen as it's supposed to.

Hugs Elyse x
www.sweetelyseblog.com

 
At 21 September 2014 at 00:45 , Blogger Amber C said...

What a wonderful post! I too had a wish list growing up and it is no where near where I am in life! But God does have a much bigger and better plan always! Also it's important to remember that you are comparing your real life to other people's Facebook life, which always looks way better then their real life!

 
At 21 September 2014 at 01:54 , Blogger Andi said...

Take one day at a time, the God, the Universe, whatever you believe has a plan and you can't fight it, what will be will be. I concentrate on being as happy as I can each and every day!

 
At 21 September 2014 at 04:22 , Blogger RobynK said...

I always thought I would go to school and then get married and have children right away as well, but God had other plans for me. I was able to establish my career while my friend were struggling for money to support their growing families. I finally married around 30 and had my children two years later after a stable income was established. It wasn't how I dreamed but now that I'm here I could not imagine it any other way. God has plans :)

 
At 21 September 2014 at 06:32 , Blogger Trish said...

I understand your feelings so well. I though I would get my degree, get married, and start having babies all before I was 25. I barely got my degree before then. I'm not married. But I was blessed enough to have a child at 31. I try to live without regrets, but sometimes it hard to think back on those goals and wonder how it went wrong. But I just try to remember that it's all for a reason and I just have to wait for it to be revealed :)

 
At 21 September 2014 at 07:37 , Blogger Christen P said...

You have the right attitude and the right thoughts on this! There is no need to rush. Once you marry and have kids I mean, you are loced in for life. Yeah it's great but you will look back fondly on the time you were single, your own person, and less busy. So enjoy what is now and you'll enjoy what's later.....later :)

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:48 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

Thank you Elyse I appreciate that and I will continue believing

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:49 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

Thanks Amber I too have seen some people whose lives seem so much better on fb than in real life.

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:49 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

Thanks Andi,mi realise that's all I can do for now one day at a time

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:50 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

You have helped increase my hope Robynk thank you

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:52 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

Thank you Christen, enjoying the now and looking forward to enjoying the later..later

 
At 21 September 2014 at 08:53 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

A life without regrets is one i aim for, i know we all of regrets of some sort but i do not want any that involves my family

 
At 21 September 2014 at 09:14 , Blogger Fiona Naughton said...

I wrote a list like this when I was 14 and funnily enough everything I wanted I got. I also had children's names on there that I liked and Tyler and Lee were on the list, so bizzare! Maybe I'm psychic! :)

 
At 21 September 2014 at 17:58 , Blogger Liv Love said...

Life I tell you life!!!!! I think sometimes it's good to pursue the other desires of relationship the same way you would an educational goal!!!! Lol sounds crazy but even setting up x amount of dates for yourself a month can be fun and just keep you in the game! Not in a must have way just in a I'm availability way!! All things for sure in Gods time and thanks for being so honest!!!!

 
At 21 September 2014 at 20:02 , Blogger Winter White said...

Where ever you are in life is exactly where you are supposed to be. I am a HUGE proponent of this, in fact I posted about this very thing on my blog yesterday. Facebook and social media as a whole can be misleading and can have people comparing themselves to others. It's the nature of the internet. People only put their absolute best selves out there, of course they're not going to tell you their heartaches, their own feelings of failure.At times it's a forum to put fourth only your best face.We are all guilty of it, But what I find comforting is that by nature we are all the same in the most intimate of ways. We all have the same fears, the same heartaches and want to be loved. When I think about this fact it helps when I feel like I'm not necessarily where I want to be.

 
At 21 September 2014 at 22:54 , Blogger Jenny B said...

Like you said, at the time those were your options and your plan, but over time things change and so should your goals. Everything happens as it's supposed to and you'll only appreciate having a child and husband more when you eventually do get blessed with those.

 
At 21 September 2014 at 23:54 , Blogger Brendy Beauty said...

My sister wrote a 30 before 30 list and I just thought it was so helpful for her to have a written representation of everything she wanted to accomplish.

 
At 22 September 2014 at 01:09 , Blogger Kendall Rayburn said...

Yup. Love all of this. It's so hard to not compare sometimes - but you are meant to do what you're doing now. I have to keep telling myself that.

 
At 22 September 2014 at 12:04 , Blogger celery and cupcakes said...

Lovely post! It's so easy to compare yourself to others and forget that what you actually have is so great. :-)

 
At 23 September 2014 at 23:42 , Anonymous GiGi Eats Celebrities said...

I just got out of a relationship........... And he was pushing me to have kids and get married and we were only dating for 4 months! It was not a good relationship to begin with, so yeah, I am right there with you - in no rush to get married or have kids quite yet!

 
At 24 September 2014 at 08:04 , Blogger Raewyn @ Be A Warrior Queen said...

All of this is so true! Writing down our goals are important but it is also important to not compare yourself to past goals or others' successes. Thank you for the reminder!

 
At 24 September 2014 at 18:05 , Blogger Kristine@thefoleyfam said...

Love it! Life is all sorts of crazy!

 
At 26 September 2014 at 00:59 , Blogger Avie T said...

Goals are so important. Without them I feel like there isn't something we are working towards. Personal goals or family goals. Your #3 reminds me of one I had for myself. I wanted to have a kid before turning 25. Here I am 26 and not close to ready to have any babies. I'm enjoying life and my career and the quality time with my hubby for now. :)

 
At 18 October 2014 at 05:04 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

You're so right, everyone puts there absolute best. I should try remember that so when I feel like comparing I know not to be too hard on me x

 
At 18 October 2014 at 05:05 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

Thank you Jenny, I agree I will appreciate more once blessed with. Them x

 
At 18 October 2014 at 05:07 , Blogger Miranda Myrabev said...

I am happy to hear someone who wanted something at a certain and could have but chose to wait. Thanks I felt guilt at times but we can't control God right?

 

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