Relationship Advice - Part 3: The Cheating cul-de-sac

Welcome to my relationship advice series, today I thought I cover cheating yes you heard right cheating. Over the weekend I was reading the weekly Best magazine when I came across several posts on cheating and the cheating mostly done by men. The one that caught my attention was where 4 women friends who lived in same cul-de-sac all experienced being cheated on by their spouses. And 3 out of 4 of these women were left and divorced by their spouses, this was just too surreal for me. I felt so sorry for these women and I just thought right we need to discuss this issue which is no stranger to us all.

This was a magazine caption on these ladies not me, please do not misquote me.

Personal view & Experience:

I used to believe and mostly still do believe that when a partner cheats it's because something has changed in a relationship. I always hear men are visual creatures but so are women but you don't see us jumping and pouncing upon every cute man that passes our way. I will confess that I came to a point where I wanted to cheat but obviously good sense got in before I could take cheating on its offer. I went through a patch where I felt I was not wanted in my relationship, I felt like I wasn't sexy enough and granted I have changed over the years a I have put a stone on since we started dating 6 years ago. This emotions were so strong that when a guy who was not my man who was not bad looking and who was giving me the attention I thought I didn't have I was more than flattered I was given another boost in confidence so much that I was tempted to pursue this and see where it could go but like I said good sense won. So you see though you can be vulnerable this can be overcome by pure determination and belief in yourself and what you got. 

Relationship experts:

"Men are visual creatures, if you let yourself go or stop doing something in a relationship you used to do in the beginning you risk your man cheating on you because you sold him a false dream"

"I cheated on my partner because i was not given the same attention I gave to my partner, I was more alone in a relationship than a single person"

"Let's not just blame the cheater, think about why the cheater cheated on you! What changed?"

These are some of the relationship expert opinions have heard over the years from my own personal experience and from seeing my friends who have had partners cheat on them I believe sometimes it's 50/50. I believe in this day and age if you sell a certain dream to your prospective partner and then couple years down the road it disappears you risk partners cheating, don't get me wrong I am not saying cheating is acceptable because it's not but you have to remember it takes 2 to tangle. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what didn't we do for the relationship? If it turns out the cheater was just a douche bag then you good, move on and have a drink on me because people! You deserve better. But if this is a two way street then you need to sit down and analyse this. Your family and friends will tell you his/she not worth it and they maybe right but ultimately the decision is yours plus remember when have said their peace and gone to sleep, you're alone with your thoughts and you cry alone or hurt alone. I believe in all situations do what's right for you and not the world. Always wanting to follow the world at what should be what will not bring you happiness, you following you will bring you happiness. Do not be a people pleaser in these situations be the selfish person you can be to be happy.

What do you my lovely's think? Should you forgive a cheater or should you just kick them to the kerb?

Relationships: This R/ship is between two people NOT plus the world

Hello peeps!!! So recently I had a momental relapse in judgement and I lost my self control which in most instances I would brag its one good quality I possess. What had happened was for over 6 months some unhappy people have just been trying to make me as unhappy as them and I usually ignored them people it really didn't get to me or even scatch the surface. But then one day they decided since talking about me wasn't doing anything they decided attacking my partner would do it and congratulations to them they found the switch because I lost it and I was fuming but since beating people black and blue is illegal I thought I will vent on Facebook and I did. Now I feel horrible not because I defended my relationship but because I stooped to their level. 

If you've read or watched my videos you will know have mentioned how hard relationships can be and extra stuff from people out to get you doesn't help. Relationships are between two people not us and the world, what have learnt in the last couple days is that I really do not have to justify my relationship with my partner to anyone if you ain't God or Jesus then sorry I ain't listening I will listen to the wise not to people who only think that we should all be miserable as them.

So if you experienced or are experiencing hard times in your relationship due to outside influence just remember relationships are between two people. Firstly look after number one, that's the two if you then conquer the world together. 

Off-Saturday: From Him to Me!!!

Hello my lovelies!! Happy Saturday, sorry my post is up later today but it's been an interesting day. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook will remember my little rant this morning, I am not usually like that but people this time got under my skin and it was relapse in judgement that brought my little rant on, anyway that's that. 

Today my partner took me shopping don't ask me why I just jumped at the opportunity when he offered. We went around town, experienced our long overdue romance walks then we headed to the retail park where we hit up New Look and Matalan. 

He already got me a bag from H&M last weekend so I didn't really want to have him spend much on me but he said he wanted to so without furthe adure I grabbed the Christmas hoody sweater from New Look and a pair of leggings from Matalan. I also picked up a jewellery display stand and some Kelly brooks duo lip pencils. 

 

We wondered around time before we headed to Lidl and grabbed some food so I could cook for us, I cooked fried beef burger with salad , pilau rice + chilli corn cane. It's been a while since I last cooked for us but he cleared and licked his plate I guess I still gat my cooking skills. 

That's my Saturday, what have you been up to? 

Relationships: Growing together

Hello Guys&Dolls!! Happy Wednesday!

Welcome back to my relationship series, today's blog we will quickly touch on growing together and what that means. Relationships are hard work but they are only as hard as you make them, it's so easy to watch other peoples relationship and wish you had that. All well and good admiring a good healthy relationship but I was taught long time ago "don't wish to live like your neighbour, you never know what deals with the devil they had to make" in other words don't wish to have what they have without knowing there inner story. 

Over the last 6 years my partner and I have been growing together nicely and moulding wonderfully. I will not sugarcoat it, it was hard at times but we both knew what we wanted out of this relationship, where we were headed and what we had to do to get their. 

We have made scarifies both of us, some we did not like at that time but I always believe The Lord wouldn't willingly let me fall in a pit without a heads up first. I know people always say "oh I never knew a thing" when the break up but think carefully about it because God will always give you the signs, if you pray about it they will light up like a Christmas tree. 

My advice is -:

* pray about it in private just you and the good lord

* pray together and work together to compliment each other. 

* Trust one another, the benefit of the doubt is the key.

* love and Accept each other as you are with all the imperfections. 

* Most importantly listen to one another so you can really hear your partner, grow together and believe in each other.

Thank you for reading my blog, I hope this was helpful. Please comment below for anything. 

Relationship Advice - Part 2

Source Unknown

So here is part 2 of my relationship advice, and today's topic is on Trust. Trust is a big word that should not be taken lightly, many will say to you I trust you but when the time comes for them to show it they are the first people to throw you under the bus so its very important to have a good foundation for any relationship to survive. Without trust what do you really have?

Let me know what you think, please comment, like and subscribe.

Relationship Advice - Part 1

Source unknown

Welcome to my relationship advice series, this is a different kind of blog post because its video based. I will be talking about experiences from my own past relationships and current relationship, please note all opinions are my own and I do not mean to offend anyone.

Let me know what you think!!!Comments are most welcome. x

Myrabev

Persona Confessions: What Makes Me Happy!!!

Often enough in life we reach a point in our lives when we ask, what makes me happy? There so many teachings and sayings around happiness but for me it's simple MY FAMILY both my side and my partners side. I have had the pleasure of growing up in an extended family household, I remember when I was a kid my 2 uncles and 2 aunties lived with us and every school holiday we had my cousins come to stay with us. It was always a packed house the minimum number of adults and kids in our house at any one time during school holidays was 13 so you can imagine it was a very busy household but it was fun and filled with love.

So I guess you could say through out my childhood have been conditioned to always count on my family and always put my family's happiness first above all else, because for me when my family is happy and content so am I. I am not talking about riches, everyone with money in there pockets! as much as that would be nice it's not what am on about, I am saying loving one another is enough for me and taking care of my family is enough to cause me happiness and put my beautiful smile on display.

Right now am with my partners family and we being together enjoying some fishing, reminiscing and just looking out for each other is enough. Having moved away from my parents house I don't get to see them as often as I would like but we talk as much as we can.

Family is important, remember it's not only your blood family that you should find happiness with it's the people that are always there for you blood or no blood.

I hope when you read this post you will find some happiness in your own family and cherish that because remember not all have the good fortune like you and me.

Thanks for reading my blog, please follow, comment and like it won't cost you anything.

Relationships: Expectations - The what was

Have you ever noticed now when things are not going your way you start to reminisce about the good old days? You remember them times ladies when he used to call you 7 times plus in a day, you didn't even have to ask some things he already knew because he was observant! Or how he used to hold you or say your name? Those good old days when you thought he could not see past you, anything outside you didn't not exist! Do you remember them times or are they too far back in your memory you can't even imagine them actually being reality thinking it may have been someone else' dream.

When this point arrives in your relationship ladies you've gat a few options and I will mention some. 1) check why they have changed, what did you do? What did he do? Or what didn't either or you do? 2) can you work on this or not? If not run or yes put on your best shoes and work on it. 

Every girl knows we date men that sell us dreams, he may not even have said it but its how he carried himself before you that started to create that dream, in some case you can live that dream happily in other cases he sold you bulls and only wanted to get it on.

Source unknown

Things change in every relationship good or bad but it's how you both behaviour towards it and how much influence you let the outside world have on your relationship. 

Guys am sure you have read this and thought ya what about us? Well what about you? Some of you are worth it some are not

So guys you treat your girl right all this time and you decide to test if she really loves you or the things YOU BUY so you start sliding, am not saying you should do this but it's a starting point to know. Some women will stay with you through thick and thin some will bail. If they bail you know if they don't you know as well.

But don't be too quick to judge those who bail check the reasons and if its all money then you definitely know. 

Relationships are hard and always will be but when both parties are committed and in it for the long haul then you can make it work otherwise don't wasting each other's time. 

What are your thoughts on this topic.

Relationships: Our Story - How we met

Unknown Source

**Short version**

One day after a long day at college I decided to take my brother up on using the computer/Internet to meet new people. So went to match.com to register but 'someone' won't say who! had already registered me, I got some really interesting propositions and some am sad to say should never be said to a lady like mwa ka!

So 2 years later after meeting and kissing a few frogs, multiple disappointing dates and websites I decided it's time to give up and just meet people the old fashioned way (my imagination thought I was gonna bump into someone and instantly hit it off and wala).But something caught my eye on zorpia.com couldn't believe what I saw (nothing naughty) I decided I was gonna say hello and if no response will officially close the account and start looking among the living. 

Before I knew what was happening I was chatting to this nice young man very interesting and all this happened after what I would call an argument he would call it a misunderstanding. From that day on (13/01/08), we chatted every day and talked like old friends with a sparkle. On 19/01/08 we decided to meet in person First date we chatted in the car then went to cinema after went to the local pub. Am sure his ears are burning still we talked (well I talked) for hours before I realised it was late and this only happened because mother rung. 

Relationships: Cougar V. Sugadaddy

Question? How come if a woman dates a young man they are called "Cougar" and usually makes it sound wrong but when a man dates a young woman it's ok or rarely classified as sugar daddy?

At first when women "non-celebrity" dated/married a young man they were termed cradle robbers? But no body minded as much when older man married a young woman. To me it seems women have and are still being judged more harshly than their male counterparts. I myself am guilty in a small way to feeling some weirdness dating a young man but i feel it's ok for me to date an older guy. I am in no way against dating someone younger than yourself I think it depends on the person. For me I feel like anyone younger than me can't be viewed anything more than my brother, don't get me wrong am not saying younger men are less better than older men but its my preferences and my opinion.

My opinion may have been influenced more by the fact that every guy I dated who was my age or a little older always behaved childishly. It's well known that in most cases women develop faster "in maturity" than men that's just how it is and having witnessed that myself over the years I just felt going out with someone younger than me was a no no. Again don't misquote me their are men out there who have developed either faster or same as their female counterparts but their are a few. 

Now I have blabbed on about "maturity" now let me explain this, a mature minded  man with his senses in tact will always think of the bigger picture not just here and now and neglect the future. He will be putting others before himself, commitment does not scare him he embraces it. He cherishes what he has doesn't always trade it up for a new joy every time his bored instead he works at it and if cant work he discusses it and bids his farewell. Maybe I am thinking of a fictional character here but I would like to think that, that kind of men have described are out there and my man is one of them. To the ladies I will say this don't just choose the one with the money choose that one whose working for it who has a dream, ambition and can support himself, you and if ever happens your kids too. These days it's not easy and am not saying compromise to the point of dying no just don't overlook them all because you have certain desires. If he ticks 6/10 take him and work together on the other 4.  

Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. Please remember to subscribe, like and comment. 

Relationships: Long Distance - Fight for Love

***First published on July 10, 2013 @ PBA***

Long distance relationships, how do people make them work? Well I personally think it takes commitment on both sides in equal measure to make it work, I think if both parties are compromising equally and always listen and look out for one another then it can and will work. Apart from these two people loving each other they have to trust each other too, because a relationship without trust is more often than none compared to a body without the head. I will be honest and say this out right if you don't trust your partner then mate start looking for a new partner or do something about it to fix that and am not talking about quick fix am talking about COMMUNICATION AND HONEST to one another. I myself have been in a long distance relationship before and I guess am experiencing that now but our distance is just 2 hours by car and 3 hours give or take by train, so we are within reach of each other. I feel for people who have a distance of a continent by that I mean you here (UK) and your partner is in USA, AUSTRALIA, ASIA or AFRICA or even vice versa. How do you go about's making it work? It all comes back to what have mentioned above, TRUST accompanied by LOVE, COMMUNICATION, HONEST and FRIENDSHIP. Many people forget the friendship part just because you in a relationship does not mean you cant be friends hell you already friends but I mean doing thinks you would do with your friends normally if they were abroad like sending messages or you see something that reminds you of them and you just post an e-mail or text and just tell them what you've seen or done that reminds you of them. We all want to know that the people who are far away miss you as crazily as you miss them because thinking that they don't remember you of they have completely forgotten you well that just drives paranoia which is never good for anyone because that usually leads to rushed decisions that you usually end up regretting later.

If you are in a long distance relationship, what have you done to make sure that that relationship does not or has not failed? How do you go about living your life without that person you love being around or being able to contact you as much as you would like?

People who are in the ARMY, how do you copes? How do you do it? Have read stories what people who've gone to war and there loved ones waited for them, in this context loved one are referring to BF/GF/Fiance etc.

Let me know how you've done it and how you inspire other people to go on because I know first hand its not easy.

Much love peeps...Comment below and send me your reviews or whatever.